Monday, April 30, 2007

Lost in Marshfield

I had a set in Marshfield at Rafferty's last night. It's the room Chrissy Kelliher runs. I had been looking forward to it for a couple of weeks. The lack of car put a kink in the works. My Mother let me use her car and then , at the last minute, my brother let me use his brandy-new suv. I felt like a dink driving such a big car (yes, I remember the van) but it sure was an easy ride. Though it's so high up , it's like driving a car on high-heels.
I had what I thought were good directions from Google. Google had been doing such a good job lately , that I didn't even mapquest the directions to compare with Google. Probably not the best idea for me, after all. I got almost there, I was travelling at the approximate time the directions said I would be. However, when I got off the highway, the directions said to take a right approximately 230 feet from the exit. I did and found my way to Christmas Tree shop. I went the other way and saw some lovely real estate. I continued down the road and turned around in the driveway of a lovely abandoned house across from an equally lovely Veterans Memorial park with a little pond and bridges -charming. I went back up the road and did the same thing again.
I called the club and the woman who answered , Sue, told me to turn around and had just missed the correct turn when I turned around in the abandoned house driveway. SO, I turned around again. Before I could get to the abandoned house , shecalled me back and told me to turn around again and take the right at the first set of lights. Okay, I did that. I went by the high school and saw more lovely real estate. I got to see a guy trying to put out a leaf fire in his front yard with a garden hose. I went a fair way down that road and turned around again and ended up on the highway I had turned around on the the last time. I went up a ways and took the next right and got a different lovely view of the high school . I called the club back and I got some other guy who knew exactly where I was and got me to the club. Sue's first directions were correct. I got there 45 minutes late. I hate being that late. The good part was, I didn't cry.
The last time I went to this club, my friend was driving. So, I wasn't paying attention. I'll never forget how to get there again !
It's a small space, we perform in front of the dart boards. There 's 4 or 5 tables and there are stools and a small counter and then there is a pool table on the other side of the partition. It's nice wood panelling and , all in all, a very intimate setting. Ordinarily , it's tough to perform in such a small space. Especially since it's mostly the same other 10 comics that you've performed in front of at the last 5 shows you've done. We're respectful, and I can't believe we're still listening to each other. Instead of just listening for a laugh, since you already know all the material , you're listening for new material and/or a change of an old bit.
Since there were a couple of newbies on the show, there was an audience. I went on pretty soon after my arrival. I opened with something I thought of on the way down. It got a good reaction, but I don't think I' ll be able to do it much longer. I apologized for being late and got a couple of jokes into the explanation. I went into my tried and true, added the new joke, it got a good response. I shortened the set-up and it worked well. Then I kind of went on with my stuff and then all of a sudden I thought I had gone over my time. My tape recorder/timing device was acting weird, so I got off the stage.
It was a lot of travelling for 7 minutes of stage time but it was worth it to get the new joke to work. Maybe it's not the greatest, but it's new and that's good for me.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Having A Pity Party

I'm depressed. I'm not going to slit my wrists or down a bottle of pills, I'm just a little discouraged right now. I still don't have ny car back. The part didn't come in today, maybe Monday. Well, my mechanic said "Monday , for sure" but my gut tells me it's going to be later in the week. I'm supposed to go down to Marshfield tomorrow to do stand-up. I'm going to have to use my Mother's car. She seemed okay with it, but not very happy. One of my co-workers has given her notice. She wasn't working today. My boss told me. She works 40 hours a week at another job. She wants her Saturdays back. I can't blame her. I 'm going to miss her.
My car doesn't work. I don't have enough money . I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Some of my favorite people have moved so far away, I can't visit them without planning and money-Mary,Betsy, Dee-Rob, Cyndi and the Walsh Brothers. I'm fat and seem unable to do anything about it . I work five jobs and it still isn't enough. I gotta figure out something with my life. I have to get a decent , full-time, one job covers all thing. Maybe give up acting.
I'm just feeling sorry for myself. My only crush is Ryan Goseling . . . . and he hasn;t called. Bastard. . ...
I know my circumstances will improve. I know this feeling is temporary. If I have a point on the horizon to head toward, I forget about everything that's not working. Focus helps. I just can't imagine what to focus on . I'm doing stuff but there doesn't seem to be a point to it. The days just fade in and out. I'm ambivalent.
I wish my car was working. I wish I had a career. This is the result of choices I have made. I am no victim. I feel insubstantial. My sense of self esteem is really wrapped up in having a car. Oh, I have a car, it's just not safe to drive.
This is not very good writing. But it doesn't have to be, because it's a pity party.

Friday, April 27, 2007

It's Raining

It's raining and I don't have a car. The brakes went on my car on Tuesday and I've been taking the bus. I have to get to Andover today and my garage is going to lend me a car. They can't find a part. Something with "Hydraulic" in the name. It's a 20 year old car , so it's probably a tough find. What the hell am I doing ? That's all , I gotta get a bus. . .

Monday, April 23, 2007

Another Sunny Monday

Today , the sun is shining and it's predicted to reach the high 70's here . In the past few years, we here in New England , have gotten used to going directly from winter to summer. Today's weather is an example of that phenomenon. I am greatful for the warmth. Also, a friend called this weekend and I might have a ticket for a Red Sox game tonight ! No, they're done slaughtering the Yankees. Tonight, they're playing Toronto. I hope the tickets come through.
This weekend was pretty mellow. I thought I might have to work at the booth, but that didn't happen. I got a couple loads of laundry done yesterday and read a couple of magazines. All while wearing pajamas. Not sexy stuff , mind you. Flannel sweat pants and a novelty t-shirt. I wish I could have mustered myself out to the movies. I figure, enjoy the quiet while I can because it's probably going to get busy, anyway.
It's 9 am now and I can get a lot done between now and when I have to be at work at 12 ! Hmmmm, I wonder what I will do ?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Dental Hygiene on the T

Aarrrrrrggh!. ... I went to see a play tonight with my friend Lauren. We went to "Miss Witherspoon" by Christopher Durang at the Lyric Theater. It was good. I thought the talent was really good but I think I've seen too many movies to really enojoy watching plays anymore. It seemed so slow. . . . . Anyway, on the way home, We took the T. Her stop is before mine. We got a seat and I noticed on the seat next to me, there were a couple of crumpled tissues. I also noticed the women sitting across the aisle from me looking at something to my left with barely concealed horrified looks. I , subtely , glanced over my shoulder at a balding , red headed man in jeans and a yellow wind breaker, picking his teeth with a toothpick. I believe he was alternating picking his teeth/gums with his ears. . . . hence the look of disgust on the womens faces. I can only guess at what he had been doing with the discarded tissues. Tissues that he left on the seat next to him when he got off the train, I might add.
I just don't know what is going on in the minds of people these days. This guy didn't seem to be homeless. In fact, I'll bet he was on his way home to a wife that has learned to look the other way at his crude habits in order to stay married to the cretin.
I'm glad this day is over.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Standard Self-Abuse

Okay . .. . so. . .. . I finished my taxes yesterday but I still had to copy and assemble them. I didn't work today because the weather here was so discouraging, my place of business didn't open today. SO, I was left to figure out , for the whole day, when I would go out to a copy place. I obsessed about having to do it and not doing it at the same time. I won't have time or accessibility to a copy machine tomorrow. I finally decided I would go out after Antiques Roadshow was over. And then . . . . And then . . .. I realized there was an operating scanner/ copier in the house. I spent the whole day obsessing over the damn thing when I could have relaxed.
Granted, I was in my pajamas all day. I didn't do any laundry or practical puttering. I barely read a magazine and mostly just watched tv all day. It wasn't even really good tv because there was a massacre at Virginia Tech and that's what was on tv all day. It's almost 11 o'clock and they still haven't released the name of the shooter. It seems like it's always an engineering student . Though, they're pretty sure it's a guy.
I do wish I had better focusing skills. I clearly don't have any perception of what the "Big Picture" is. Except that a day in pajamas is always better than having to wear a uniform. And that Ike & Mikes taste like Jelly Bellies. Yeah . . this is good writing.
Yeesh. .. .

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday. It's after 3pm and I'm still in my pajamas. I've already had a piece of birthday cake and a half a bag of Twisty Cheetoes. I just now finished my taxes, 2 full days before they are legally due ! I'm getting a refund from the Feds and I owe less than a $100.oo to the state. My BFF and her husband are coming to get me at 5:30 and they are taking me out to dinner, I don't know where. My Mum gave me a card with a dollar for every year I've been alive. I even got a card from the cat. He's a good boy !
Yesterday, my co-worker bought me a breakfast sandwich and a cherry pie from Petsies Pies and my Boss bought me lunch and an afternoon tea. We went to Red Bones, I drove , but it was still pretty sweet ! Last week, my friend Angelynn gave me two beautiful jewelled barretts and a book about how Google works (I 've already started reading it ! )
I really haven't made a big deal out of it this year. My buddy Keith took me to dinner on Thursday to a place we've been trying to get to since it moved.I didn't tell him my birthday was coming up. We went to Casa de Pedro's new location in Watertown. I had "Pedro's Birthday dinner" and flan for dessert. It consists of chorizo,black sausage, flank steak, plantains, rice and potatoes and some sort of tasty sauce that is applied to the steak. It was delicious. Keith has turned me on to a lot of great places to eat. I would never argue with him about what I should order. I would just ask him "What should I get ?" He'd order for me and it's always something I love and would never have thought to order it for myself.
So, here I am , at this age. Older than I ever expected to be. We're having a Nor'easter of a rain storm here. I wish I was a little bit more psyched about today. I just ain't. I'm glad I finished the taxes. Every year it weighs heavily on me. The closer to the filing date , the crazier and less inclined to do them I get. I don't have to get ready for another hour to go out.
I'll blog after dinner.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Go See Grind House !

Kiki and I saw Grindhouse last night . It was action-packed, fun-filled and Cheesey Delicious ! It is 2 films and four trailers for imaginary films. There were these little theater announcements I remember from going to the movies when I was a kid. Rose McGowan and Freddie Rodriguez are great and Kurt Russell still rocks it out. I guess the box office was disappointing but I saw it on a Monday night and there were a lot of people there. And we were all laughing ! It's the kind of movie a kid would have loved to sneak into back in the 70's.
It's not going to get any awards for acting but it should get a bunch of nominations for writing and cinematography. We loved it. Go see it before they yank it out of teh limited amount of theaters it's in now.

Monday, April 09, 2007

A New Monday Morning

Yesterday was Easter. I worked at the booth. Apparently I missed two fairly interesting events since last Thursday. On Friday, someone actually took a shit in the sink in the Mens room . My co-worker explained the discovery as "There was a worse smell than usual wafting from the Gents. The cleaning lady couldn't get in, so he went in to check and there he found the steaming turd clogging the drain." The cleaning lady took an hour to plunge the offending poop down the drain.The kicker-it ws teh cleaning lady's birthdya ! My question is -How do you shit in the sink and nobody notices you doing it ? Was it a really tall guy ? Was is scooped from somewhere else and placed there ? Will wonders never cease ?
Then on Saturday, the same co-worker had to deal with an irate Mother pushing a stroller requesting a Ranger because there were two men exposing themselves by the fountain. The Ranger had just gone on lunch so he promised to alert a Ranger when he saw him . A short time later another guy came in and said the same thing . Again, he had to await the Rangers return. Shortly thereafter, a guy came in a said there were two guys performing 69 on each other by the fountain. SO , my co-worker had to call dispatch and another Ranger was despatched to deal with the public sex. Saturday was cold here ! Why the hell do homeless people feel the need to have sex like that in public in the freezing cold ? There are kids in the park on Saturday ! Also , city police have been patrolling on a more regular basis. Did the homeless horney guys know the patrol schedule ? People are despicable. . . .I think if I was working I would have thrown a bucket of cold water on them . Just because !
The day was busy but not too frantic. When I got home , Mum had mad a big Easter dinner-Ham, carrots, broccoli and spinach. It was a wonderful meal .
Last week , I performed stand-up 4 times. Fortunately , Friday night at the Studio went really well. At least , I felt like it went well. I am finally starting to feel what a good set is. I am starting to tell the difference of how it feels when I am doing good.
Thursday , at Lew's , went okay. I just laughed a lot . Kris , the host , opened the show with a really dirty song and I laughed until I hurt. I was first , I went up after him and I think that contributed to my having a good time onstage.
Monday, I did the Green Dragon downtown , for the first time. I opened with stuff I've been working on (it's not there yet ! ) and then I went into my usual stuff and it went really well by comparison. It was mostly other comics in the audience and they were all paying attention , which was a really nice thing. The host had never seen me before and she was laughing. She also said some nice things to me afterward.
Sunday, I did the All Asia. I really like doing this show because I really like the host , Janet Cormier. She had a a good audience. They were all artist-type friends of hers -Poets, Potters, painters, sculpters. I did a little bit of the new joke I am working on , but mostly did teh tried and true stuff because this audience had never seen me before. It felt good.
All in all , last week was a good week for me in terms of my comedy. I tried something new each time I got on stage. I did a topical joke about a tractor -trailer accident on Thursday and Friday. Yeah, I won't be able to use it again, but it kept things fresh for me.
I still haven't completed my taxes yet. I have had several false starts in the last couple of days. I planned on working on them last night . After that dinner, I fell asleep. Essentially , I took a nap before I went to bed. I am running late for work today. That is all . I will write as soon as I get the chance.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Continuing The Extra Thread

So, we had to be there at 11:30. I misjudged a couple of things and I left the house about 15 minutes after I had planned to leave. I had built in some extra time , meaning, I would arrive at exactly the time I was scheduled for instead of a little bit early (which is what I prefer to do). Storrow Drive was backed up in such a way that you couldn't see it was backed up until you got under the bridge. They were doing something with the street lights along the way / Storrow Drive is only a 2 lane , so it was cut down to 1. Then I forgot that you can't take the left once you get up to Commonwealth Avenue, so, I had to go up a couple of blocks and bang a U-ey. I had printed the directions to the Holding , so I could figure out where I was in order to walk there from wherever I had to park my car. Holding was the Auditorium of English High. Parking was at the Forest Hills train station commuter parking. I glided by the school at 11:25 ! I , found "Crew" parking (which I was not supposed to park in !) and hopped a shuttle and made it to holding by 11:32. A resaonable length of time that maybe I was there and in line ? Maybe I wandered outside the building for a minute ? Bottom line, I was there in time to look professional.
I signed in, they gave me my sheet, checked my passport and I sat down. As far away from everyboody else so that I could spread out and read my paper . And , mostly, so that I wouldn't accidentally get stuck with a Yakker. Also, from where I was sitting, I had a better vantage point to see what was going on. Every once in a while, in an Extras holding area, you will see somebody from the crew walking around looking at people. Usually , this person is looking for colors of clothing or faces to place in certain places in the background. If they're good at it, you'll never know you're being appraised like a pair of shoes.
They called for the waitresses, there were 2 of us-me and Mo. They had to look at what we were wearing and then they had to figure out which tshirt we should wear. Mo got a tight fitting white Doyle's t-shirt(very flatttering to her figure) and I got a big gray Doyle's t-shirt . With the cuffs rolled up ala the 80's style. I didn't think it was very flattering to my figure, but then again, I'm in the background, it's not going to matter how I look ! Then they sent us to hair and make-up. Mo had her hair done while I had my make-up done. I had worn light , basic make-up-brown eye-shadow and neutral lip gloss. The kind of gloss that could be wiped off easily.Then we switched chiars. The woman doing my hair was the same women who did my hair most days on Mona Lisa Smile. I think her name is Ellie. She's very nice but very quite. After we had our hair and make-up done, we all got sent to breakfast. It was a quick affair and they were out of most things. I had scrambled eggs and bacon. I would have liked to have had sausage, but I'm probably better off not having it. We had about 20 minutes to eat. There were no chairs. Most people just ate standing up. Then we were sent back to Holding.
Back at Holding they called for "1 through 10". I looked at my form , I was 4. They wanted all of us sitting at the same table because we would be in the immediate background of where the action was taking place. I sat next to Mo, so that they wouldn't have to look for the waitresses. Make it easy for them. Of course, I was right across from a yakker. A boy yakker boasted to the young man sitting next to him about , I don'tknow- girls he's broken up with and bands he's played in. I don't really know, I didn't want to listen. SO, once again, I got up and tried to move to no-man's land. As soon as I was settled , they wanted us all back at the table. Shortly after that , they brought us to the set. We walked down the hill from the school to Doyle's.
I have to continue this later. I have to get ready to go to work. I hope it posts !