Friday, January 07, 2011

Bye Mum

Sorry ,it's been a while since I posted. My brother returned from war, my other brother reconciled with us and then my Mother passed away. It was a tough year and a wonderful year. I had been caring for my Mother for the last year. She passed almost exactly a year later from when I had sort of started taking care of her. Her decline was steady and undeniable. Sometimes she knew who I was and sometimes she wanted to know if I had met her daughter. She wasn't always sure who I was or what I was doing to her over the last year of her life. I made her doctors appointments, took her to them, learned to check her blood sugar and give her insulin shots twice a day. I shopped for her, cooked for her and cleaned for her. The last 6 weeks of her life, she was in and out of the hospital. I visited her every day except one , when I was out of town on a trip I had planned 4 years ago. I hoped my brother would take up the slack.
I consider myself lucky that I was in a position to do all these things. It was never a question to me that I would do what I did. I watched her do the same , as best she could, for her own Mother. She had kids to take care of at the same time, I did not.
I was with her when she passed.She had been unconscious for about 11 days. I could tell her breathing had changed. I got up and bent over her and whispered a Hail Mary and an Our Father into her ear and told her I was with her. Maybe a minute passed, I sat back down and then got back up . I couldn't tell if she was breathing. I woke one brother up to come down and see if Mum was still here. He couldn't tell, he woke up the other brother and he said she was gone. Her color had changed. She passed about 10 minutes to 9. At a very reasonable hour. Just like my Mother, she didn't want to bother anybody by dying in the middle of the night or the day. Because we had done hospice, we called our hospice nurse and about an hour later she came and pronounced Mum and then we called the funeral home.Our Mother passed on our fathers birthday and our nurse's mother's birthday. She was carried away in a house dress my friend Margaret had gotten for her. They zipped her into a garment bag and rolled her away.
I will write more about the actual services and such. I haven't been able to write about this until now. I miss her so much. I miss her laugh the most. She had a great sense of humor and was a kind and gentle person. She was shy and had a great fear of speaking in public. I know everyone goes through this sooner or later and no one is really ready for it. I thought I'd get another year with her. I am greatful for what I did get.


Blogger Dee-Rob said...

Aw, Dot. What a great daughter. Even if she was confused at the end, I have no doubt she was comforted by you and knew who you were.

Sorry I'm just seeing this note now. So glad to see you posting again.

Now that it's a new year, we're going to have to figure out how you can visit the west!

XOXOXO, Denise

Saturday, January 15, 2011 4:48:00 PM  

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