Crazy Wet Lady

For those of you who follow the Weather Channel, it has been raining here in Boston for about 12 days straight. According to the local weather reports, it's going to keep going for the rest of the week. It's a lot of rain. It's like a Nor'Easter, only it's rain and it's lasting a lot longer than any Nor'Easter I can remember. It's wet and dark . Areas near rivers are flooding. It's a lot of rain.
So, last week sometime, my umberella turned itself inside out. I turned it down right. I figured, that'll buy me a couple of uses more. It's counter intuitve, but I've used umberellas that had holes in them, they got most of the job done and I didn't have another umberella. So , on Saturday morning, I'm working at the job and decided to go get the papers, a coffee , croissant and a breakfast sandwich for my boss. It's a quick trip except that I need to wait for the sandwich to get cooked. There are no other customers when I get there, by the time I left the little spa was crowded. I didn't wait for a bag.
I'm juggling my wallet , 2 papers, 2 little bags of snacks , a coffee and my umberella. I'm figuring "Oh it's a short walk. I can make it without spilling or dropping." Except , the coffee cup is hot. It's burning the tips of my fingers. I have to keep switching hands. I've got the wallet and the papers tucked under my left arm and I'm switching the coffee cup,the bags and the umberella handle from the left to the right. I look like a kangaroo holding all these things in my foreshortened arms. About 10 feet from the front door, the umberella turns itself inside out again. I don't really have the leverage, but I react like I can handle it all. I'm not thinking. That is a theme in my life. SO, I'm stumbling and dropping and lurching into the store all at the same time. The wallet, papers, paper bags drop to the floor and the coffee cup goes flying and splatters all over the floor. I'm still holding onto the fucking umberella. Within seconds , I scream little swear words. I stamp my feet and kick the door jam. I punch the umberella with my now free hand. I strangle the umberella with both hands. I punch it again and then I strangle it and grunting swear words and squealling in a desparate register, I stuff it into the waste basket. That umberella is dead.
My boss and co-worker are frozen, they've never seen me like this before. I've never lost it like this before. Well, not in 20 years anyway and I'm pretty sure that meltdown occurred in a van down south-probably over french fries or cheese. Immediately, I am mortified. I apologize to them . My co-worker offers to go get me another coffee. I don't want another coffe. I want to go home and go to bed and cry under the blankets. I get over it . They get over it. I feel bad about kicking the door jam. I don't go out that night. It was a surprising melt down except that I shouldn't be surprised. I haven't been able to garner a full day off since the middle of April. This rain isn't helping. .. .