Monday, August 22, 2005

Impressions of Scotland

- I am hearing way more bag pipes than I thought I would. I know it's Scotland, but you'd think they'd have had enough of the Atonal bag by now.

- Not as many guys in kilts as I would have thought. But there's plenty of kilt shops around. I guess I never thought that you just get your kilt from the kilt shop -makes sense though.

- In my neighborhood, on the weekends , there is a truck that sells cheese. Like an ice cream truck , only it's cheese and the truck doesn't have bells or a pre-recorded jingle to announce it's arrival.

- On my walk ,through the Meadows, I frequently see guys carrying one golf club. At first I was concerned that acts of violence were imminenet, but then I realized, they have golf courses all over the place and putting greens. people will go down the park and hit a couple of balls.

- The Meadows that I walk through is a green space about double the size of Boston Common from Charles Street to Park Street. To enter the park, I walk under a bough made of Mastedon Tusks from the world Exhibition in 1886. I had passed under it every day for a week before I noticed it.

- The show that has daily been in the top 5 of Fringe Ticket Sales has been a show titled "the LadyBoys of Bangkok". Their show is set up in the Meadows and it is a landmark to guide me. At night, I can hear the canned music of whatever they are performing. More than once , I have heard Shania Twain's "Feels Like a Woman". Tonight I heard "One Night in Babgkok" from the 80's musical "Chess". At the beginning of my stay , there were a lot of pictures in the papers of the LadyBoys. They are very beautiful and every time I see an Asian woman I wonder "Is she a real woman ? Or is "She" a "Lady Boy " ? I don't know if I'm going to see that show. It will probably just depress me.

-Scottish drunks travel in packs and like to scream at the top of their lungs in the streets. Like Marlon Brando in "A Streetcar Named Desire" yelling "Stella" only -what are they yelling ? . . . . I have no idea.

- There are more Scotty dogs than I expected.

-Scottish drunks like to smash bottles. It's not really violent, they just seem to be amused by the glass shattering and the sound it makes. Usually I will hear the bottle smash then 3 or 4 people will start laughing their heads off in the distance. Or , they will cheer like someone just scored a goal.

- The Scotts don't believe in air conditioning.

- The Scotts have demystified the word "Cunt". Everyone is a "Cunt". However, I don' t think it'll go over all that well in the more politically correct territiories.


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