Bus of the Darned

August 17-9:55 am- Kilmahog-Scotland
Andy and I decided to take the tour. Kris got us all worked up and then didn't show. We went by the Castle Duone that was in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Andy forgot his dramamine and is now a bit quesy. We are stopped for breakfast. I had the Scottish Breakfast- egg,black pudding, sausage, "bacon", toast, potato something and coffee. The Black Pudding was no great shakes.

12:40 PM-Somewhere on the edge of the Highlands
The tour bus has stopped-FINALLY. I can't believe we signed up for this. I am pretty sure I will kill myself by the time we get to Loch Ness. I am , however, catching up on my souvenier purchases. I am mostly thinking about my Mother and cousin . My poor brother is probably going to get a carton of Duty-Free cigarettes from the airport- Charged !
This is mind numbing. I learned how the Campbells murdered the MacDonalds -slaughtered really-as we rode through the Glencoe Mountains. I am getting really tired of looking at mountains. This trip is a combination of driving through the mountains on the island of Crete, coming in from the airport to Park City Utah and driving along the Kangamangus Highway in New Hampshire. Even though I've never been here before, if feels like I've seen it all already.
I wonder where Kris is. Someone please shoot me. This doesn't get back to Edinburgh until 8:30 !!!!!!

3:40 PM-Castle Urquhart
We are at Castle Urquhart on Loch Ness. A ruined castle. Andy is eating grapes and I have just finished an old fashioned strawberry short cake. Looking for Nessie, only found in the gift shop through which you have to walk to get to the castle.

6:25 PM-Piltcharnin-The Old Farmhouse Restaurant
This day will never end . . ..If someone ever suggests taht I take a 12 hour tour anywhere ! I must refuse- unless I will be administered chocolate and sex hourly by the captain of the swim team for the duration of the trip. Riding in a bus is exhausting. Andy needs his Dramamine. We have gotten nothing done. I will never get this day back. I hope Kris is laughing and enjoying himself wherever he is. It would have been nice if we knew the name of the tour company or the street address. Though this is merely a fantasy that the other tour would have been better.
It has been raining for most of the day. Urquahart castle was a ruin. Though looking at Loch Ness was pretty. We really didn't think this one out.

10:50 PM-The Flat
Andy just got a text message from Kris. He is okay, he overslept. He didn't go on any tours -Lucky Bastard !
The tour comapny we used was called Scotline-Highland Tour. It was 12 hours ! It was fine but it was mostly the same thing over and over -trees, sheep and mountains. Though, with the sheep, I would look for the dog- they leave dogs to keep watch and every once in a while you'll catch one working.

Things I Learned in 12 Hours :
- There are over 3,000 castles in Scotland
- There are more sheep than people
- Robb Roy was really named Robb Roy MacGregor. When they outlawed the name MacGregor he changed his name to Campbell.
- Robb Roy was actually quite short and his arms went as far as his knees
- "Children of the Mist" is what they called Robb Roy's gang of thieves
- A "Loch" is a lake
- There are 37 million people in the world who can claim Scottish ancestry
- The "Three Sisters" are Faith, Hope and Charity -there is a trio of mountains named that
- I don't like black pudding
- Loch Ness has very dark water beause it's bottom is mostly Peat Silt - Just like my pocketbook
- "Jacobite" literally means "Friends of James" as in King James
- Bag Pipes were introduced to Scotland by the Irish -as a joke

In conclusion, don't take a 12 hour bus ride, ever !