The Contest

Hi , sorry it's taken so long to blog but I've been working crazy hours and , frankly, I am just too exhausted when I get home at night to write. I didn't even check my computer when I got home last night. So, the contest ... .
I parked my car under the Common so I could leave right from work. It cost about $5.00 less than I expected, so that was good. It took me alomost 2 hours to get down there, I got home in just over an hour. It was the rush hour traffic down and there was no traffic on the way back . I changed my uniform pants to jeans before I left work and I changed out of my uniform shirt when I got there. I wore a black short sleeve cotton blouse and tourquoise platform sandals. I touched up my make-up . I just threw away the wire hanger I had carried the blouse on. The rest room lady was keeping an eye on me in case I was some kind of riverboat hustler. No, I'm just an open -miker. Everything I took off-shoes,socks & shirt fit into my bag . I walked into the club 5 minutes before I was supposed to be there. So, in my mind , I was on time .
Charlie Hall was hosting instead of Frank O'Connell because Frank's son was graduating. We pulled numbers and I pulled number one. Okay, it's the luck of the draw. After the pull, 5 more comics walked up and Charlie felt it was unfair, so we pulled again. The second time , I pulled number 4. A better position , in my mind. I had a chance to watch how things were going and take some time preparing myself. Kris Earle was there and he pulled 14, mayb not such a good number. He too was philosphical. His first pull was 12, so there wasn't much of a difference for him. We sat together.
While we were sitting there, I ordered a bottle of water and a thing they make called a "Steak and cheese spring roll" . You could get almost anything but it was small enough but satisfiying enough that I wasn't hungry. Also , the water was a really big size so it would last the whole evening for me. While Kris and I chatted , I worked on my set. I listened to previous sets in the car on the way down. Sometimes it's funny but most times it's excruciating. What I usually find is something I said that I had forgotten about that I can use . Also, I get to the venue and I can't remember ANY of my material. I can ask Kris but I don't think he's going to to remember my sets. I needed like one more thing , and I recalled it right before I went up to wait.
The host did some time and then brought up one of the previous week's winners. Though she was cute, I don't think she brought the right amount of energy the beginning of the show needed. I don't know who was first and second but the girl ahead of me was very good . Her name was Miya. She had a lot of friends in the audience. My turn came and I opened with how I had gotten dressed in designer clothes for them . I was wearing head to toe Target, which I was. I took my time. I had deleted all my Boston and suicidal material. I was clean . There was a table of women my age up front who were really laughing during my set. To my left was a table of comics who were talking throughout my set, the little fucks, and they were right up front so only the person on stage could really see and hear them. The light started flashing at 4:30 so I wrapped it up with an abbreviated version of my Arts & crafts Holocaust bit and I just made it under the wire. I got a really good response for someone who only had one friend in the audience. I felt good about what I had done. I had redeemed myself after the whole Gardiner fiasco. Though I did learn something from that doomed trip which served me well on this adventure.
When I was done there were only 15 more comics to go ! Kris was 10 after me.The show started at 7:30 and it went until a little after ten. Those people really got a lot of bang for their five bucks. There was a special guest comic who got up and did ten, because clearly the show wasn't long enough already. He did one of the Walshes jokes VERBATUM. I hope he didn't see my set . I can't afford to have anyone rip me off. He did a guest spot because he was performing at the club on the weekend. He was unnecessary.
SO, what was there ? There was a woman who I think was deaf but she could sing well and she did an Elvis Presley impression. There was another guy, who was funny and creepy , who did a bit about masturbating and falling in the shower. One of the kids who "won", because he had about 50 people there ,basically did a bad Dane Cook impression. He had no material. When he gets to the rounds in front of judges, he is not going to last. The other kid who won had some pretty good jokes. His Dad is Pakistani and his Mum is Catholic and he had original material . He should last a couple of rounds . Kris Earle did his song parody again, which kills me ! It was filthy and the audience went crazy. No he didn't win but the audience was screaming !
Probably the funniest part of the evening was when one of the comics asked Kris to take some pictures of him onstage. I wasn't paying attention but I could hear Kris giggling , but I didn't know what was so funny. I looked over and Kris was having trouble focusing the camera so they were all blurry. Every picture he took was blurrier than the one before. We were laughing so hard , and we had to keep it quiet. I was in pain. The one clear picture he took was of the guys crotch , completly accidentallty, which only made us laugh more ! That was the funniest part of the evening for me.
At the end of the show , when they parade us in front of the audience to measure teh appplause, I got a polite response but people were saving their fire for their friends. I was glad I did it. I didn't puke, pee or cry on stage which is victory of a sorts for me. It wasn't the most important thing in the world. I just wanted to feel like I had done a good job and I do feel like I did a good job. I didn't embarrass myself or the great state of Massachusetts. Also, I had a wicked laugh with one of my friends and that is priceless !